Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Over 40,000 words on my novel! And only six days to go. Yikes. But 10k in six days only requires me to write the standard nanowrimo minimum per day - 1667. I'm definitely going to do more than that, so I should come out ahead! Oh joy, oh delight.
I'm going to Tim's parents for a short (really!) time this Thursday. I've never been to a guy's parents for this holiday before. In fact, most of my relationships over the last 10 years of dating have faded out by fall, and I had the holiday season to think about what I'd done. Ha. Then it's off to Willis to celebrate with my aunt and cousins, whose darling company I always enjoy.
This cheese-filled post was brought to you by Sarah having too much energy to sit still and code her invoices.
Very truly yours,
Friday, November 21, 2008
Sometimes I feel like I'm just miserable at life, but each time I try to put my finger on what it is I'm doing wrong, I can't tell.
While talking to a classmate recently, I verbally worked out that I may be too emotionally disconnected. There are advantages to this, obviously; many people try endlessly to distance themselves emotionally from a situation so that they can take a rational, objective look at their options. But could it hurt to do this too much? As the beloved(?) Sarah Palin would say, "Yoo betcha!" (Unnecessary.)
Maybe it's just that I spent so much time when I was younger exploring my emotions and following my feelings and listening to my heart. I saw where that got me. Nowhere. Fast. And a lot of times, in a whole lot of trouble, and lonely to boot. Four years of being single seems to have made me a very anemotional being, which saddens me in many ways.
I end up examining relationships (romantic and friend) in a way that seems a little cold and inhuman on reflection. It's almost as if I need a reminder every once in a while that my life doesn't need to be lived as though I'm some sort of diplomatic political figure. Why do my conversations that should be emotional end up sounding like a Christmas card from a lawyer to an especially wealthy client?
Frequently used inappropriate phrases:
"more permanant solution"
"an unfeasible move"
"something more specific"
"respect your position"
And the darkest of all non-emotional lines that I've said in an emotional setting in the last few years: "I'm hoping we can fulfill mutually enjoyable roles in each others' lives." ??? Am I writing a legal contract or what? What is wrong with me??
To answer myself with one of my own recent quotes: "Passion is an amazing thing... sometimes I feel my heart is numb to it."
Just to let you know.
And that means you're human, too.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Next semester, there are a few things I'd like to accomplish. First, I'd like to volunteer as an ESOL tutor, either with HCC or the Heights Library. Second, I'd like to organize an Esperanto Society ("club" sounds so trite) in my area. Third, I'd like to stop being co-dependent again. That's up to you to decide what that means, but I think I just want it to happen.
Lastly, I'd like to start a very casual, very not-intense street fashion blog for Houston. I'm going to get a camera for Xmas (don't tell Mommy & Santa I know!) and it just sounds like SO MUCH FUN. So we'll see. I have yet to decide whether I will use this blog or get another gmail to use for it. We'll see!
As for school, I have two words for you: YUCK, and KILL.
Very truly yours,